Why Is Change So Hard?

After twenty-five years working with clients as a therapist, I still puzzle over why lasting change is so darned difficult. Even when change could bring about objective good in someone’s life, it still seems like making those adjustments to thoughts and behaviors can be a monumental task.  

 

Change can be made to obvious and outward behaviors like exercising more or improving diet. Change can also be about finding new ways to think that could impact behavior and emotions. Building a new habit in behavior or thinking is really the challenge. There is a reason we act and think the way we do, and sometimes the core of long-lasting change is finding the desire and motivation to replace the old thoughts and behaviors with something new and doing that long enough to make it habitual.  

 

Transitions will often require changes in thought and behavior. Going from school to work or work to retirement or single to married or married to divorced can leave one feeling very off kilter and asking oneself why behaviors and thoughts must now be different because of the change that has to be navigated.  

 

When I was given my first flight to command in the Air Force, I suddenly had to consider more closely my daily actions and behaviors. Were the behaviors I exhibited one of leader? Did the things I say encourage and inspire others to work hard, be competent and get the mission done? What kinds of things did I tell myself about me and the situation that added to the possibility of success or potentially work against me in being a good leader. Small changes were definitely necessary and sometimes difficult, but being thrust into the situation pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me grow.    

 

For change to be long lasting it takes conscious effort, daily practice, and consistent review to form the new habits that will lead to success, in lasting change. This growth and the potential insight you will gain can have a transformative effect on your life and future.