Let’s talk more about why change is so hard. As humans we are creatures of habit. In numerous ways this makes life livable. If we had to make conscious decisions about every small behavior or thing we did everyday life would be exhausting and unmanageable. Let me give you an example.
Think about the act of driving a car. When you first learned to drive, you would have thought about each small step that led to being able to safely drive. Buckle your seat belt. Carefully check your mirrors, seat adjustment and steering column. Find the right key and put it in the ignition or push the button to start the motor. Keep the brake applied while starting the car and check surroundings to safely begin to slowly accelerate. Carefully accelerate and feel the interaction with the ground as the engine revs and moves you forward. Now consider the added complication for a manual transmission.
After more time and experience behind the wheel a vast majority of the small functions necessary to drive become automatic. You may have even experienced the phenomenon of finding yourself on the road or at your destination and you realize that not one of the actions of driving entered your conscious thought process. It all happened habitually, from applying the seat belt, to acceleration, to breaking. Just like driving, there are countless functions we do in life that become automatic habitual for us.
Automatic or habitual behaviors or thoughts aren’t necessarily the best way for us to react or behave. Sometimes, when we are young or throughout the course of our life, we experience events and out of survival or inexperience, or things we have seen others do, we put into play a way to deal with the situation that over time could become automatic in nature. Just like in the driving example, often these reactions and choices happen without our conscious thinking and quite often the response can be neutral or even negative.
The great news about this situation is that like any habit, change can happen. Although not easy its possible, and I’m glad you are here considering change.