Today I want to revisit motivation and how to address one big frustration I often see people deal with when trying to change. Remember that the big components change are behavior and thought. Learning new skills in these areas takes time and effort. So how does one stay motivated to implement the new skills and not become frustrated when change doesn’t happen quickly?
I was talking with a co-worker the other day and she was discussing frustration she had experienced in trying to make changes. She described having a short period of feeling high energy and realizing there were things she would like to do or have different in her life. This led to an attempt at a complete life overhaul to include changing diet, increasing exercise, sleeping more, organizing things at home and work, being a better friend. The list went on, with her working on multiple things all at once, to find greater happiness and life satisfaction.
My co-worker is not the only one I’ve seen try to do this with their life. You’ve likely had similar experiences in your own life with friends and family setting a number of sweeping New Year’s resolutions that seldom come to fruition, and often leave the person that has embarked on the hope of a better life feeling somewhat down and sad that they couldn’t do the things that they knew would improve their happiness. Have you done this to yourself? I know I have.
My hope is to offer another view of change. Experience suggests to me that finding and focusing on one small thing, behavior or thought, and doing it consistently over and over again until it becomes habit, can often lead to feelings of happiness, peace, and a sense of accomplishment. You may have heard the story of a ship’s captain that realized the ship was off course by one degree. Had this not been discovered, and changed, the ship would have missed its final destination by hundreds of miles. Small changes can work the same magic in our own lives if we allow them to.
When I say small changes I’ve mean just that. I’ve seen people come closer to their weight loss goals by adding one workout per week, or even adding 10 minutes to their current regime. I’ve seen others become healthier by cutting their drinking, favorite high calorie food, or sweets in half, rather than entirely removing from their life. I’ve seen couples save marriages by inserting the simple statement, “Tell me more,” into their interactions rather than responding in their normal habitual way. I’ve witnessed people with crippling anxiety gain greater access to the world by simply spending five minutes, consistently and over time, exposed to the thought or thing that was driving the anxiety.
On the surface this is not earth shaking change. For these people though, it did create a sense of strength and accomplishment, and once this small change was fully embedded in their life they had a framework and confidence for making other changes. Trusting in the small things, makes change less hard. Small changes are sustainable and can lead to much larger and better things in life. You can do this!